My Last Drink: Sat 15th December 2007 (?)

This is so much harder than I first assumed. To quit drinking for me is like telling your average person that they’re never allowed to laugh again. To me, drink is a natural thing. It’s part of my life. Without alcohol, I can’t dance. Without alcohol, I can’t attend job interviews or important meetings. Without alcohol, I can’t go on dates. Without alcohol, I can’t even go to work without getting really stressed and nervous about what people might be thinking of me.

It’s taken a huge toll on my life and by trying to quit - it’s really made me realise how much I depended on it. I feel so disappointed in myself as since I posted about quitting I’ve been drinking more than before, probably almost 200 units this week I’ve gone through. Had three days off work and made myself sick countless amounts of times.

Obviously Christmas will be a time for parties and celebration, although I don’t celebrate with family much - I will with friends. So to avoid any drink mishaps - I’m going out for a drink on Saturday night as a Christmas AND New Year celebration in one. I’m taking out £20 only and limiting my intake.

Then Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, New Years Eve (until 1.30am) and New Years Day I will be working - so no chance for me to go out and get drunk to celebrate any of them. Which is a good idea, I think. Especially as I’ll be paid on time and a half, too - which is quite a bit of money extra for my wages.

So although I haven’t really got very far - I’m not giving up. I’m going to make a diary log on this site too under the Laura section. It will be nice to look back in months or years and think, hmm - I got there in the end! And it will be a good read for others who may experience the same problems as myself.

Thank you for all your kind comments/words - your support is going to help me through this so much easier than if I were to do it alone.

My Last Drink: Sat 8th December 2007 (?)

So I’m going to start seeing an alcohol counsellor and a regular psychologist about the stress and depressive state I’ve got myself into these past few weeks. The alcohol counsellor is due to the amount I drink on a weekend and during the week.

A woman is meant to have an intake of 14 alcohol units per week. Any more and it’s going over the recommended healthy lifestyle in regards to alcohol consumption. I sat with my doctor and worked out that I have a weekly intake of 107 units on average.

Now do you see why I need help?

So I ruin a lot of things due to alcohol. My personal health, relationships, friendships, family bonds, jobs, my confidence, stupid mistakes of one night stands and ridiculous arguments, wasting a lot of money, getting into debt, becoming dependant on alcohol to get me by, ruined all my school exams because of it when I was 16.

I think it’s time I put my foot down and stopped drinking. Not forever - but learning to drink in moderation, and not very often - maybe a few times a month. No more binge drinking or getting to the point where I don’t know what’s happening to me. No more random pints or glasses of vodka in the daytime or evenings alone when I’m bored. No more drinking for confidence.

From now on it’s lack of alcohol and lots of vegetables. In other words - I’m taking on board a completely new healthy lifestyle and it’s about time that I stuck to it too. This is not a New Year Resolution - they never work. This is for me, and only me. Not for anyone else.

Wish me luck.