Parenting - Part Two
June 22, 2008 || Filed under family, my old life ||
So my other post I was feeling pretty down about the lack of having a father on Father’s Day. But yesterday something else got me thinking. I visited back to Somerset for a week and was chatting to my sister about how our mum has never really been very sympathetic. We were never brought up with the whole “Are you okay?” attitude. If we fell over, it was our own silly fault. When someone crashed into me and tipped my car over last year, it was my own silly fault for having a car. If something bad happens, we’re never really comforted as much as I’d like.
I think it hurts me a lot more than my sister, but I really never have had a family. I’ve got a mum, a dad. But they’re just.. parents, you know? Dad was never around my whole life, mum brought me up and fought hard for us to have a home but she’s never really done mumsy stuff with me. My whole family ignore me, I don’t have contact with any of them unless they want something from me. And my mum threw me out at age seventeen.
Being seventeen years old and not having a home is awful. Especially when it was simply because I quit my job with my sister because I wanted to focus on college and have a bit more of a social life. I’ve never hurt my mum or done anything terrible to her. I wasn’t on drugs, I didn’t come home every night pissed as a fart and shout the house down. I was a normal teenage girl who wanted to do more than go to college 20 hours a week and work for an extra 30 hours.
So it raises the question, would you ever make your children homeless? Could you do it? Not knowing if they’re going to be safe? What would your child have to do to make you feel that way? Is a child just until the age of 16-18 or should you be responsible for them forever?
I’m just curious what your guys opinions might be.
Melissa Elizabeth Britt Rosie
To answer your question: no. I know it’s hard to say at this point in my life what type of mother I’d be. I have no doubt that I’ll fight with my kids when they’re my age and I more than likely will throw them out… only to call them an hour later and tell them to get their bum back home. But then, if they were at a point in their lives where they really shouldn’t be still living at home and depending on me (and believe me, my idea of this is if their in their late 20’s), I have no idea what I would do. Would I kick them out? Let them stay at home?
I’d like to think that the decisions I make for my future children would be in their best interest and not out of something they happen to do that might piss me off. I wouldn’t kick them out because of anything they did, but more because it’s time for them to learn how to live on their own.
Comment by Melissa — June 23, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
Aw I would hate it if my parents were like that. I wouldn’t know what to think if my parents threw me out; I agree being kicked out at the age is awful. If you hadn’t done anything wrong, you shouldn’t have been kicked out.
Comment by Elizabeth — June 26, 2008 @ 1:34 am
I’ve been reading your blogs for roughly three years now, I think - yes it must’ve been because I remember reading you were 16 when I first visited your website - and throughout these years I have always stood in amazement about how cold your mother was when it came to throwing you out.
I don’t think I could ever throw my child out like that; I mean, like you said, you were a normal teenage girl, nothing out of the ordinary, and what kind of mum are you to throw her out of your home with no real reasons?
I do not mean to offend your mum in any way, but this is just how I think about it. I know the two of you get on well or at least fine now and I’m happy for you, because she is still your mum. But I don’t know if I could be that forgiving if she were my mum.
Comment by Britt — June 30, 2008 @ 3:38 pm
I don’t think I could ever throw my child out of my home. I know what it’s like to have a mother that you think doesn’t love you and wishes you were never born, and I could never let my children feel that way.
Comment by Rosie — June 30, 2008 @ 5:28 pm